Locked Down

These are trying times. With a Pandemic looming, a majority of us are shut inside our homes with our routines disrupted. Now, I have come across various categories of people: some are thankful that they get to Chill, while there are some who keep sulking, and there are others who are a mix of both (Me. Me. Me.).

Before you form any judgement, let me make it very clear that I am super thankful for a roof over my head, food on my plate and a perfectly healthy family around me. ‘But why this rant?’, you may ask.

Oh, Come on. It certainly is not easy for you too. It is not easy for anyone. It is draining you, albeit financially or emotionally or mentally. But conveniently, we choose not to talk about it. So today, I decided to write something and when wondering about a topic, mind just got tuned to this and wouldn’t let me wander. So, here you go:

From Kids to Adults, the initial days of Lock Down seemed to give all the feels of a Summer Vacation. Now, I was already home on my study leave for a month, and it theoretically shouldn’t make a difference that there is a lock down. But the whole world around me gets to chill and I take it as my right to do so.
Watching the news every hour has become a Mandate Thing.
The Social Media was a feast to the eyes during these times. Majority donned the hat of a Master Chef. Dalgona Coffees were Brewed, Breads and Cakes were Baked and Food Plating was done.
Some indulged in Art & Craft, and many of us were busy doing Random BS “Quarantine Challenges & Bingos”.
I too got involved with a few of the above activities. Time passed. It was good to feed the family some Fancy (sometimes, flop) Food. We laughed, talked a lot, made fun of each other and had what is said to be ‘quality family time’.

All lasted for a few days. Eventually, it gets very bored and tired. I ran out of ideas. Everybody at home starts feeling the same. One person or the other is being ticked-off, even for the smallest of things. Arguments arise. Sulking happen.
Remember those times when things were normal? When we had activities out in the world, like college or work, we look forward to go home. Home used to be an escapism of the day spent.
Now, with nowhere to go, Home has become a House and my Room has become the Home. It is like my ultimate Peace and Serenity lies in these few square feet of space.
This being my current Sanctity, I began De-cluttering and cleaning my whole room like a maniac. I now know the sound of my air conditioner really well, when pigeons come near the window sill and at what angle the sun set rays fall into my room. Things that I failed to appreciate before.
In the News, more and more scary things were reported. Talking to friends over call helped a lot (because they are also ranting, you don’t feel like you are the only one. Hehe.).

Everyone needs a break from the present. But 50+ days and the plausibility to go nowhere or see no one kept getting on my nerves. From being irritated at all times, I started becoming lonely. I needed Real Hugs. I needed Face-to-Face Validations. I missed the little stabs and High-Fives. Pillows became the replacements of Human Touch. Sometimes, I create my own ‘Pillow Cocoon’ to feel safe. I cry. I bawl. For no reason. I began deep-diving into watching Movies and Series. The few hours of this screen entertainment keeps my mindset at bay for the moment. Even the Social Media has turned from Artsy and Foodie to Carriers of Bad News and Motivational Posts.

At some point, To keep on feeling low also becomes exhausting. I realized that it is going to be a vicious cycle of Positive and Negative Vibes. All that I could do is just buckle up my seat belts to go on this emotional ride.

No matter how bad or good things go, there are certain stuffs which will always remain the same. Like dividing the share of Chocolates with the sibling. Like an Appa who always knocks at the room door and waits for you to respond. Or like an Amma who will always always always just barge in and scold you for having the phone in your hand (I will swear that its been only 2 minutes but to no avail). Like the Grand-mom who calls and whose only major concern is what food was fed to me. Or Like the Friends that send out random Insta Filters to try.

Until things get Normalized and the House becomes Home again, I will enjoy the Lavender-y Smell of my Room, the Virtual Love and Abundant Biscuit Packets that are lying on the dining table.

And oh, you people also hang on. We are all together in this ride : )

Signing off.

---

Like it? Please do feel free to Share and Spread the word. Also, leaving a word or two in the comments below would really mean so much to me. Thank you :))

---

Picture Credits: Unsplash